hey everyone! i havent posted for so long! so my blog is like soo dead. im scared!! got competition coming soon!! i have been so lazy(as usual). so not movtivated. dont know wat to do! HELP! homework is piling up like a mountain. sighx.

{/PERHAPS LOVE <3 ;
;DD 12:08 PM

hey everyone!! i need advice. this post is going to be very long so bear with it. Last night, i spent a long time thinking squash and swimming-- which one is better for me? well, first thing is, no one supports me, no one helps me. my life is being controlled. i cant even handle it. making decisions is really vexing. sometimes you just dont know what to do, cant you just listen to me for just this once? im fed up and tired. life is in a total mess. i've decided already. dont stop me. just wanna be somebody else.everytime i arrive at the pool i ask myself,"Why am i here? Am i lost? Do i know this place? Who are all these strangers? Did they ever appear in my previous life? Who brought me here?? Why is there a pool?" These questions just keep running across my head. It cant stop, but i get no answers, only hearing someone's whistle blowing. im very fragile you know. save me before i break down.

Next thing is that i know someone is never failed before. Almost everyone doesnt like her. Boastful, always praising herself. I wonder if she has any thought for others. Even if she is really good, at least she must keep it to herslef right. I mean who in the world is so thick-skinned to confess loudly that she is so clever? Has anyone seen these kind of people? She should really search herself. She must at least fail once in her life. See what it is like to be not able to top the class or win a competition. If she doesnt do well in practise, she would be very sad about it. i really cant imagine if she really lose out in some competition and what would she do? Kill herself? Cant take it any longer. just have to say it out.

I am done telling my "story". Please give me some comments. God bless everyone

{/PERHAPS LOVE <3 ;
;DD 4:26 PM

my blog is so dead. happy new year! it is 2006. everything is going to change(my life especially). school is starting tomorrow. i havent trained for like 1 whole week, gonna die. sometimes i gotta learn when to give up. being myself isnt good enough, im like wearing a mask. no more computer from tomorrow onwards, gonna be very busy. nvm, history is to repeat itself. dont really know what to do. i'll just let everything come right into my life. XD

{/PERHAPS LOVE <3 ;
;DD 3:41 PM